Oh, I know that song.

So while im waiting for Adam to finish in the bathroom so i can go shower, i thought id write about a person we are all familiar with. Some of us know him/her as "That guy". Yes, even if it is a girl, i refer to her as that guy. Because "that guy" provides us with something only few other people can deliver, a collective annoyance by the rest of the crowd. Who is "that guy"? (wow its fucking snowing hard out.)

I am talking of course about the guy at every party, event, or social gathering, that conveniently stumbles upon a guitar and is just utterly compelled to play for the rest of us, regardless of how inappropriate it may be. Perhaps "stumble" is not sufficient enough to describe how they come across the instrument of destruction. It's more along the lines of "room-to-room-search-for-any-acoustic", and if that doesn't work, there is no hesitation to ask the host... and guests... of the party if they've "seen one around". "That guy" then takes it upon himself to gather the only two people at the party who happen to know him, and recreate his own mash-up of D-string muted power chords, unfinished, off-tempo fingerpicking solos, and the chorus of one song "you probably havent heard of". Probably for good reason.

Asking yourself what his motivation is, it becomes apparent. Recognition. Not attention really, but recognition. Independent on whether or not everyone notices him, as long as he can get just ONE person to acknowledge that he is playing a song they know, and that they possibly think he is playing well, he is satisfied, and can go home happy with the musical erection in him subsided.

After countless trial-and-error runs, I've come across fairly effective method of conquering "that guy". If you ever happen to be at an ultimate frisbee team mixer, or that fancy wine and cheese party, or even that chill night at the house where your friend brings a buddy who he claims "hes cool, no no hes definitely cool" and come across this social anomaly, walk by him, stop, bring half of your attention towards him and the guitar he posesses, and just say "wow, dude, you're pretty good." Now walk away, feeling like superman, confident that you have just trumped the Lex Luthor of the party. He feels fantastic, is satisfied with your acknowledgement, and will get up. Under the impression that "ill leave them wanting more" (when in reality, hes just out of songs to play), he retires, puts away the guitar, and continues with the party, jello shot after jello shot.

Here's to you "that guy", and more importantly, here's to you those of you who conquer this fiend.

Cheers,

-Slater